Dear New Mom...

     Our church has a really cool tradition.  When there is a soon-to-be first time mom, some of the new moms in the congregation take her out to dinner and answer any questions she might have, give advice, and just love on her.  Some super sweet friends did this for me a few weeks before Henry was born, and tonight I am going to another new mom's dinner.  I have been a mother for nearly 8 weeks...does this qualify me to give advice?  I thought about this a lot today, and here's the best advice I could come up with:  "I don't know what I'm doing.  You won't either. Any new mom who says she has it all together is a big fat liar."

   Strange advice?  Maybe.  But it is seriously the most helpful thing anyone could say to a new mom.  It seems like everyone else knows what they are doing.  They are out and about with perfectly styled hair, in their pre-pregnancy jeans, with their blissfully sleeping child (who, OMG,  slept through the night at 1 week old!!).  It seems like everyone frolics around picking flowers and doing special craft projects with their perfectly behaved children.  Meanwhile, I am wearing dirty, oversized basketball shorts because that's all that fits me, a t-shirt covered with spit up, and my hair is still wet from the shower I took yesterday morning.  My eyebrows need to be plucked, I can't remember if I have brushed my teeth today, and there is a mountain of clean laundry waiting to be put away.  It's been waiting to be put away for several days now.  I am holding my son who did not sleep for more than 1 1/2 hours at a time last night, and his fingernails are dirty despite getting a bath just an hour ago.

    Last week my dear husband woke up to me sitting in bed crying.  I felt like all my baby did was cry, I couldn't give him enough to eat, and I was pretty sure Henry hated me.  Sweet Sam is the perfect combination of "I love you, you're a great mom", and "suck it up and get it together."  He pointed out that no one talks about the hard stuff.  You never hear anyone say that they constantly second-guess themselves and have really crappy days.  And he's right.

     I love to read mom blogs, and you only read about how great life is and get to look at pictures of perfect children.  I have been guilty of the same.  That day Sam talked to another new dad.  The other dad mentioned that his wife asked him to come home early from work because she was having a hard day with her baby and needed help.  WHAT?  This woman is super-mom!  She looks so sweet, calm, and positive all the time.  Her son is well-behaved and I have never heard him cry.  And she needs help?!  I am sorry she was having a hard day, but this was the best thing I could have heard.

   We all have hard days and need help!  We are expected to act like every second of new motherhood is AMAZING, breastfeeding is a blast, and those 3am screaming fits are such great bonding times.  To admit otherwise makes you feel like a really bad person.  It shouldn't be that way.  Don't get me wrong, I love being a mom.  I love my son more than I thought was even possible.  I love watching him change and grow, love his new tricks, love every little perfect inch of him.   But you know what?  Sometimes I get frustrated.  Some moments are not glorious.  Sometimes your child is going to completely destroy a diaper and poop is going to creep up his back during church.  Then he will spend the rest of church wearing just a diaper because his pants are dirty.   (I want to give a shout-out to Michelle Percival for so graciously helping me clean up this one.)  Your child might get fussy and get loud gas during your grandfather's funeral.  They might scream uncontrollably during newborn pictures. It's ok.  We've all been there.

      I didn't realize how incredibly different each and every baby is.  So what works for others and their babies, may not work for you.  The second night I was in the hospital, Henry was crying uncontrollably and I couldn't stop him.  A nurse stuck her head in and said, "Your baby is crying." (Yes, I am aware of that, thank you.) "You need to swaddle him."  Go ahead, try to swaddle my son.  He will karate chop you in the face.   I also love the "put them in their crib and let them cry for a few minutes, then they will go to sleep" advice.  Nope.  Henry cries for hours.  Literally, hours, until he makes himself sick.  He's persistent, I'll give him that much.  In the end, the little stuff doesn't matter.  It does not matter if you use a DiaperGenie or put diapers in a trashcan in the garage.  It does not matter what brand of diaper, bottle, or butt paste you use.  It doesn't matter how often your baby needs a pacifier.  It does not matter if you give them a bath in the sink or your bathtub.  So new mom, listen to the advice everyone gives you.  And then do what works for you.

And now, some of the best parts of my day:

Baby toes in the grass

Talking and sweet smiles

Playing in the front yard

Hank-mania!

I take more pictures of this kid than any mom should.  I can't help it, I mean, he's precious.  So this picture-post probably won't be interesting to anyone but his grandparents (hi Possum, Grandma, Coach, and Sweetie!) 

Here are a few highlights of the last couple of weeks in Henry's world:

*Henry got to go to my school for the Valentine's party and meet my kiddos.  They were so excited to meet him, and thought he was pretty cute.

*He went to Abilene for the weekend to see the Morgan clan.  He got to spend a couple of hours with Grandma and Possum while Sam and I went out to eat with Katie, Nathan, Meredith, and John.  This was also a highlight for Sam and me!

*He has really learned how to "talk", and tells especially good stories while on his changing table.  We think he is a pretty good storyteller.

*He has started sleeping a little better now.  He used to just sleep maybe an hour in the morning and an hour in the afternoon.  Exhausting for everyone involved.  The other night he went to sleep at 8:45pm and slept until about 9:00 the next morning, and only woke up twice to eat.  HALLELUJAH!!  

*Henry has started smiling!!  He's not super consistent yet, but we get several good smiles a day now.  I haven't been able to get a picture of him smiling, but hopefully I will catch him in the act soon. It's probably the cutest thing I have ever seen.

Bath time!

With cousin Jack

After bath time

Doing a little light reading

With great-grandparents

February 4, 2012

Uncle Adam

Uncle Nathan

Wearing Uncle Christopher on his shirt

Grandma Morgan

Precious boy!

Happy Birthday, Papaw

     My grandfather passed away early Monday morning.  We knew it was coming, he was ready to go, and we got to say our goodbyes.  Today would be his 93rd birthday.

     He did some incredible things in his life, although he would never talk about it.  He was born in 1919, right after World War I, and spent his childhood on a farm in the middle of the Great Depression.  He was in the Navy in World War II.  His ship left Pearl Harbor 2 days before it was attacked, and went back 2 days after it was attacked.  He served as Honor Guard for President Roosevelt.  He spent many years stationed on the USS Indianapolis, the ship that carried the atomic bomb that was dropped on Hiroshima.  He survived two attacks from Japanese kamakazes. He was in Tokyo Bay and watched the signing of the Japanese surrender to end the war. The things that he saw and did in his life are incredible, things that are a huge part of our history.  Although my grandfather was a man of few words and more than likely would not talk about it, I wish I had spent more time asking about his life.  I have not only thought a lot about him this week, but about how sad I am that his generation is dying.  When I see a man about his age, I just want to soak up everything they have to say.  

     Memories of Papaw:  One Christmas he made me a little desk for my room, and I remember thinking how special it was that my papaw could make things like that.  I remember how organized his tools in his garage were-how organized all his stuff was for that matter.  I remember him mowing his yard, hanging up Christmas lights, climbing on ladders, and raking leaves well into his 80's and 90's.  I remember making vanilla snow ice cream the few times it snowed in Sherman.  On my wedding day he told me that I was the second most beautiful bride he had ever seen (second only to my mother).  I remember him still trying to learn how to tie a necktie at the age of 92 and how handsome he looked in suits.  I remember him having a passionate love/hate relationship with the Texas Rangers and Dallas Cowboys.  He was dedicated and watched every game, but often wondered aloud "how they were going to manage to lose this time."  I remember us trying to figure out together how to put in a new vacuum cleaner bag. It was a couple of weeks after my grandmother died-he never had to do it before, that was her job!  I remember him sneaking a Snickers bar every now and then, and I will never see a bag of Frito's BBQ chips without thinking of him.  When I was pregnant with Henry, he would always tell me and Sam "best of luck to ya."  He told me that he thought Sam was "a fine young man."  I remember a picture of him sitting on the couch with his arm around my grandmother.  I will forever remember Papaw's best friend saluting him as Taps was played at his funeral.  He did not talk about how he felt, he showed you.  He did things not for recognition, but because they just needed to be done-and he did it the right way.  

    My most precious memory was made on Saturday.  He had been asking to see Henry ever since Henry was born.  We finally made it to Sherman Saturday.  Papaw was not in good shape.  He could barely hold his eyes open, had lost lots of weight, and could not communicate much.  But when we came in with Henry, he held his arms out and said, "Baby."  My mom held Henry in his arms for a few moments.  I know Henry will not remember this, but we have this picture to remember.  

We had planned on getting him a cake and a couple of cards for his birthday.  I imagine he prefers spending his birthday with my grandmother in heaven today.  Happy Birthday, Papaw!

  

Friends, Family, and Sonic

Our little man is 4 weeks old today!  Sam and I don't even remember life without him.  I'm sure it was full of good night's sleep and naps, but it was also probably very boring.

This is pretty much the extent of their playdate

Henry has had quite an eventful week!  Henry and I are reaching the point where we have to get out of the house every day to maintain our sanity.  Last week we went on a walk up and down the street and  wandered around the mall.  You know you're tired when you seriously consider taking a little nap in the mattress section at Macy's.   We go to Sonic every day at Happy Hour.  I don't want to be the creepy lady that is at the same Sonic at the same time each day, so I try to vary locations. Luckily we live close to about 4 Sonics, so I try to rotate.  We also went to see Henry's new friend Jaxon!  Jaxon was not due until mid-February, but was born 12 days after Henry.  Jaxon was teeny tiny next to my 8lb chubby boy.  I can't wait for them to make messes and get dirty together!  It was also wonderful to talk to another brand-new first time mom.  It's reassuring to know that I'm not the only one that has no idea what I am doing!  Is a pacifier ok?  How often are they eating? How much is too much poop?  Not enough poop?  Who knows.

Henry went to church for the third time on Sunday.  He let us go to the service, class, and even out to eat with friends afterward!  We were all doing so well, until he peed out of the side of his diaper and onto my dress during lunch.  Check please!

In his very handsome church clothes from "Coach"

My Aunt Connie and cousin Madeline came all the way from Lufkin to see him on Saturday.  He loves them.  He just slept and cuddled with them all afternoon. I need to put them on our payroll to take over our night shifts.  My family has wanted a baby named Hank in the family for a long time.  I can't say it enough, this little guy is so loved!



We had a great day yesterday.  We went to Hobby Lobby for the first time since he was born-I don't know how they managed to stay in business without my daily visits!  It was beautiful outside, so we went to a park by our house and walked around a little trail.  I was able to sit on a bench and read a book while Henry just looked around and listened to the other kids playing.  We were there for an hour and a half, and Hank just took it all in.  He loves to be outside, I'm pretty sure he is going to be "outdoorsy" like his daddy.

Up next:  a trip to Sherman to see my grandfather for his 93rd birthday, and a trip to Abilene to see the Morgans and meet Uncle Nathan!