Please tell me I'm not the only one who has baby food permanently affixed to the walls surrounding the high chair. And I'm not the only one who can't get their toddler to eat their vegetables. And I'm not the only one who has sticky handprints on every surface of the house, no matter how much I clean. And please tell me someone else lets their child empty a box of playing cards and scatter them around the house, just because it occupied them for 3.28 minutes. Please tell me I'm not the only one who asks their toddler for permission before they take care of basic hygiene routines. ("Henry, can Mommy take a shower? Henry, it's 4:30pm. Can Mommy change out of her pjs and put on a bra?") And surely I'm not the only one who mentally cusses out the UPS man for ringing the doorbell during naptime, the neighbor for slamming his car doors right outside my sleeping child's bedroom window, and the garbage truck man for driving his LOUD truck down our street at 10:00am. IT'S NAPTIME, PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!! Please tell me I'm not the only one whose child is obsessed with the toilet, and putting things in it. Like his pacifier. Please tell me I'm not the only one who finds green boogers in my hair left over from the brief moment he let me cuddle with him this morning. And I can't be the only one who *wishes* her child would watch a cartoon, just for a few minutes of stillness. And let me be 100% completely honest...I was a little bit happy to get the 24-hour stomach bug yesterday, because Henry spent 6 glorious hours at school while I was at home
by myself. Vomiting and nauseated and at times shaking violently, but
by myself! And tell me I'm not the only one who lets their toddler drag a power strip around the house like a dog on a leash, long enough to write a ranting blog post.
Please, please tell me I'm not the only one.